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I bet you have some employees, colleagues, family or friends who are crybabies.
Definition: In our Spontaneous Optimism™ book, we define a pessimist as someone who loves to do three things:

1. Complain

2. Blame

3. Moan

They are “Loser Magnets” – because they magnetically attract other pessimists and crybabies who love to complain, blame, and moan.

In fact, they are “Emotional Vampires” who cherish every opportunity you give them to suck the good feelings right out of your skull.

ADULT TANTRUMSIf you think about it, an adult who wallows in complaining, blaming and moaning is, in reality, throwing the adult version of a child’s temper tantrum. An upset child will cry and kick and scream. Well, adults cannot do such “childish” actions. So, they do the more pseudo-intelligent thing: They 1. love to list anything that goes wrong (complain)2. point fingers at how someone else goofed up (blame)3. wallow in the emotional mud for as long as anyone listens (moan)Recommendation: The next time you see an adult “bent out of shape,” pause for a moment. Realize you are witnessing the adult version of a child’s tantrum.

ARE YOU “PLAYING HOUSE”? ? ? ?Remember: If you ever lapse into considering whether to tolerate an employee’s whining, complaining, blaming and moaning, you absolutely must remember these four points:

1. This is not a game.

2. You are not playing house.

3. You are not operating a counseling center.

4. You are running a business – and that requires you to focus on your mission to improve profits and productivity.

INTERESTING – BUT USELESS – RESEARCHInteresting research: Salvidore Maddi, Ph.

D., professor at U. of California – Irvine, studied 450 executives to find out how they handled various “stresses” on-the-job. About 2/3 handled stress poorly, and 1/3 handled it well. A large percentage of the people who handled work-related stress well had this in common: As children, they experienced extremely “disruptive stresses early in life,” typically in their family life.

Useless aspect of this research: It is illegal – and unprofessional – to ask job applicants about non-work activities. As such, you should not ask an applicant if s/he experienced “disruptive stresses early in life.” You are not even supposed to ask about an applicant’s family experiences. That would be a non-work-related question. (Note: Even if you did ask, it is doubtful the applicant would tell you about sticky childhood or family experiences, anyway!)However, of course, you crave to hire people who handle well the roadblocks they encounter on- the-job. These roadblocks include failure, rejection, not making a sale, not achieving a goal, or someone giving the employee a hard time.

HOW TO HIRE HARDY, RESILIENT EMPLOYEESSince you cannot ask non-work-related questions in a job interview, what can you do to hire applicants who – when they encounter work difficulties – readily pick themselves up, figure out how to do better next time, and move on.

In fact, in my How Winners Do It book and speeches, I emphasize, “The main difference between a winner and a loser is a winner picks himself up exactly one more time than a loser!”Question: So, how can you spot an applicant who will “pick himself up exactly one more time?”Solution: On the Behavior Forecaster™ Test, a pre-employment test, we created two scales that help you predict which applicants handle obstacles well:

+ Subjective Reactions vs. Objective Reactions

+ Pessimism vs. OptimismOn the Subjective Reactions vs. Objective Reactions scale, someone who scores low (i.e., Subjective Reactions) tends to be a person who gets upset, “bent out of shape,” acts like a crybaby, or throws the adult version of a tantrum when things do not go their way they like. In contrast, someone who scores high on this scale (i.e., Objective Reactions) acts poised under pressure, takes difficulties in stride, figures out solutions, and proceeds a mature, adult-like manner.

On the Optimism scale, people who score low (i.e., Pessimistic) love to complain, blame, and moan. In contrast, applicants who score high on this scale (i.e., Optimistic) prove to be confident, self-responsibly, “can-do” people who thrive on figuring out solutions to problems they encounter. In fact, if you hire an applicant who scores high on Objective Reactions and also high on Optimism, you will have hired a mature, adult-like employee who exhibits resiliency and hardiness despite roadblocks.

Interestingly, when we conduct “benchmarking studies” to identify the Forecaster™ Test scores of superstar employees, we quite often find superstars in many jobs in many companies score high on both Objective Reactions and Optimism.

HOW CAN YOU IMPROVE YOUR RESILIENCY & HARDINESS? ? ? ?If you feel upset or “bent out of shape” when you encounter roadblocks – or when someone gives you a hard time – here is what you can do to handle it successfully.

First, focus on the facts. One Behavior Forecaster™ Test scale is Feeling-Focused vs. Fact-Focused. It tells managers whether an applicant likes to focus on feelings, emotions and personal topics (i.e., like a social worker) or focus on facts and nitty-gritty details (i.e., like an accountant or engineer).

Problem: Imagine the last time you got upset and threw an “adult tantrum.” Most likely, you let yourself flounder in a Feeling-Focused mode.

Solution: To handle a crisis or difficulty in a mature, down-to-earth, pragmatic manner, you need to switch your brain into a Fact-Focused mode. After you listing the facts, you need to conjure up solutions. By focusing on facts of the bothersome situation, you can succeed in figuring out how to handle the problem, pick yourself up, and implement your solution.

Tip: “Focus on what you want – not on what you do not want”– Dr. Michael Mercer & Dr. Mary Troiani in Spontaneous Optimism™ bookSecond, don’t play victim. Remember: People only can step on you if you keep lying under their feet! So, if you allowed someone to play the monster role while you play the victim role, do what an optimistic person does: Take personal responsibility for solving your predicament, rather than just complaining, blaming and moaning about the monster. And – most importantly – stand up for yourself.

YOU CAN TRANSFORM CRYBABY EMPLOYEES INTO ADULTS

I can read your minds! I know some of you are thinking, “Well, I handle obstacles objectively and optimistically with a fact-focused attention to analyzing and solving the problem. But, what do I do about people around me who are pessimistic crybabies?”Here is exactly what you need to do. The next time that crybaby strolls into your office and starts complaining, blaming and moaning about something, nicely say to the person: “I realize that bothers you. Now, please tell me what the possible solution is.”

The pessimistic crybaby most likely will respond by saying, “I don’t know!”Then, you look the person in the eye as you nicely but firmly ask, “Well, if you did know the solution, what would it be?”In other words, you are teaching the crybaby to do exactly what optimistic, objective adults do: Focus on solutions – not on problems. Superstars in all walks of life invest the huge majority of their time focusing on solutions – not on problems.

In fact, you may be the first human being who ever showed the pessimistic, upset crybaby how to handle roadblocks and difficulties like an objective, optimistic adult.

Note: You will not transform them by doing this only once. I discovered I need to do this 10 or more times with a crybaby before the person finally learns – at least in my presence – to focus on solutions – not on complaining, blaming and moaning about problems.

In the outcome, you help a crybaby transform into an adult. Plus, you help your company and yourself by transforming one more employee into an optimistic, “can-do,” confident person.

After you’ve been out of school for a few years, the idea of taking adult education classes can seem intimidating or even scary for many people. After all, most people have their life somewhat organized after they’ve been out of school a while. They may have a job, a family and children, and feel quite secure in their role as an adult. So going back to school can in some ways be seen as a step backwards, away from the reality and security of adult life.

But the truth is, deciding to attend adult education classes can be a big step forward in your life, even though it may not seem that way at first glance. Continuing or completing your education as an adult is richly rewarding, and we’ll give you the satisfaction of having achieved something important in your life — a type of milestone.

One common reservation about going back to school is finding the time in your busy life for study. But with a little commitment and preparation, all of us can find creative ways to free up time during the week. Perhaps you will need to cut back on your extracurricular activities, or delegate certain responsibilities to your spouse for a period of time. But as someone once said, anything worth achieving requires sacrifice.

If you’re interested in continuing your education, but nervous about the concept of going back to school, there’s good news: it is now possible to attend online adult education courses, bypassing the traditional classroom altogether. Online learning also is easier to work into your schedule for several reasons.

You see, unlike traditional classroom education, online learning is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. There are normally no fixed times when you must “attend” classes; instead, you are presented with a series of tasks, which you can then complete on your own time frame.

Even those of us with hectic job and family schedules can find a few minutes here and there to study online. And the more you get into it, the more you will find creative ways to make the most of the time you do have available during the week. Online education conforms to your specific situation — not the other way around, and is without a doubt the best way to go back to school as an adult.

But besides being able to work your studies around your schedule, online education saves you time and money in other ways. For example, you never have to rush home after work, just to grab a quick bite to eat and then rush back out the door to drive across town for a class. This saves you gas money, a great deal of stress, and makes the most of the free time you have, so that you can continue to have a life while you study.

And Internet educational resources have developed to the point where you can study for a wide range of adult education degrees online. Many people also find this way of studying easier, because classes are normally presented in video format, which means that you can watch them over and over again as many times as you like until the information “sinks in.”

If you have been considering adult education, but were nervous at the prospect of going back to school, online adult education could be a perfect solution for you to advance in your career and life.

Most people would agree that men who know how to flirt are likely to enjoy more success when it comes to dating. But it might surprise many to know that the same goes for swinger dating and even for success at adult parties. This is because those who have never participated in swinger or adult dating, imagine that both parties and dates have rules of social conduct that completely disregard the ones that apply to mainstream dating.
Whilst adult parties and dates offer a social environment where a philosophy of virtually total sexual liberation exists and where even overt sexual behaviour in public is acceptable, this atmosphere of permissiveness has no bearing on the other requirements of social-sexual behaviour. Flirting and seduction skills are consequently as much a part of the adult dating scene as they are in mainstream dating.
Any man who thinks he can be successful on an adult, no strings, date or at an adult party without flirting is doomed for disappointment. What’s more, most men accept that there is an art to flirting. Some believe that it is an art they are already well versed in. Others believe it to be a natural talent which one has either been born with or not. Then there are the men who understand that it is a skill which can be developed and refined through learning and application.
Whatever the nature of the type dating involved, men need to understand that they are playing a game and that a positive mental outlook is the first requirement for winning the game. Approaching a woman, whether as a prospective dating partner or to join in the adult fun with her group at a swinger’s party, is doomed to failure without this positive mindset.
The men who posses it adopt an air of confidence. They believe in themselves and they believe that a successful outcome is always likely. Such men tend to consider the world to be their own personal playground but more importantly they are not the least bit afraid of being knocked off their pedestal from time to time. For them rejection is merely another step towards getting what they want.
A man who attends a goes into any form of dating activity with a negative mental outlook is someone who constantly has doubts and fears at the back of his mind. When he approaches women, he is likely to reveal his negativity in both subtle and more obvious ways. The typical flow of negative thoughts that run through his mind are likely to form questions like these:
“I might say the wrong thing or even run out of things to say.”

“If she says no in front of the group she’s with, I won’t know what to say and I’ll feel really embarrassed.”

“She’s really quite stunning and will probably think I’m not good enough looking for her”

Men who believe that you are born with the ability to flirt successfully may also believe that they are amongst the lucky ones, in which case they are also likely to adopt a positive mindset and in all probability they will enjoy success in approaching women. But men who do not have the ability whilst retaining the belief that skill in flirtation is an inborn talent aren’t ever going to give themselves a chance to change. They risk going through life without ever being successful in seducing women. Subscribing to online adult dating sites or attending adult parties isn’t going to change things for them. Instead they need to challenge the belief that flirting is an inborn talent and, understanding that it isn’t, to seek out ways to acquire the necessary skills and underlying self confidence. The men who understand that it is a skill which can be developed and refined through learning and application are already a step ahead.
There are actually many courses that teach you how to flirt successfully and seduce women, available on the Internet these days and most have free introductions which will help you to decide which one is the best course for you. It really doesn’t make any difference whether you are more likely to be making use of the skills within the adult swinger dating or mainstream dating environment. Once learnt you can practice and hone them anywhere.

Young students face a variety of obstacles when studying abroad. First of all, you have a hard time getting used to all the differences in the nation you’ll be calling home for a while or years.

Secondly, you must control your living expenses carefully because you are always on a restricted budget. If a health problem arises or another issue prevents you from studying abroad, it may put an unnecessary amount of stress on you.

In the event that you experience an unexpected emergency while you are studying abroad, student travel insurance may save your life. Additionally, in order to meet the requirements for admission, medical insurance is a requirement at the majority of foreign universities. This insurance protects you from unforeseen medical expenses and also enables you to satisfy such admission requirements.

What is covered by individual student travel insurance for studying abroad?

Health insurance: The company pays for your medical bills if you get sick or get hurt while travelling abroad. These consist of medical assistance, X-rays, other diagnostic tests, and in-patient and outpatient care. In any event where returning to India is required for medical reasons, the company may also pay for your airfare.

Dental care: The insurance company compensates your expenses in treating any tooth or teeth during your trip overseas.

Compassionate visit: Suppose you are hospitalised for longer than seven days, and your medical condition does not permit you to travel back to your native country. Moreover, no adult family member is present with you abroad.

In such a circumstance, the international student travel insurance policy may pay for a round-trip ticket to allow an immediate family member to be at your bedside at the hospital.

Treatment for mental and neurological disorders: Insurance companies may cover the treatment of mental problems, including alcoholism and drug abuse. This may be confined to in-patient hospitalisation (24 hours or more) provided by a hospital/nursing home.

Sports injuries: As part of the medical cover, companies also take care of medical expenses for sports injuries. These charges would be handled as any other medical expenses for an accident and will be subject to the terms of conditions indicated in the policy.

Personal liability: Imagine that you are legally responsible for an occurrence that results in someone’s injury or property or health harm. In that situation, the company covers your liability costs up to the amount insured as per your policy.

Personal accident: In the event of a foreign accident resulting in injury or unfortunate permanent disability, a student travel insurance policy may offer coverage to the insured.

Study interruption: If you are hospitalised or if your study abroad programme is stopped for any other reason, you can request a tuition fee return in such a situation. Up to your insurance sum insured, the company may cover any outstanding fees that the institute does not return.

Loss of passport: If you misplace your passport while travelling overseas, travel insurance pays you compensation. Under this benefit, the insurance company pays for the costs associated with getting a new or duplicate passport.

Conclusion
In conclusion, a student travel insurance policy is a crucial line of defence for the thousands of Indian students who choose to continue their education in foreign colleges and universities. They are kept financially secure and mentally carefree while travelling.

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